BLOG

blog, bloggie.. im sorry i neglected you.

so much has been going on.. well.. school, school, work.
thats it.

this is the exciting life of me. I have nothing funny or witty to say. try again later.


deuces.

some more days.

Day 26 →? Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
yes. i mean i wouldnt actually do it, but ive felt pretty low at times. thank God i have an amazing support system around me.


Day 27 →? What’s the best thing going for you right now?
I am employed and i am going to school. its not the best or best paying job, but i love what i do, and like i said.. i have a job. cant complain when im not part of that unemployed statistic. Within the next to years i hope to move out and get my own place, then begin working as a nurse.

I guess ive got a future going for me.

Day 28 →? What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
I guess i'd do what i have to do. prepare to be a mom.
just for the record, i dont plan on having kids for a long time (though its one of my dreams to be a mom, and cant wait to have kids of my own).

Day 25

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

I really don't know what to say to this... maybe because my heart continues to beat, and i breathe. I dont know.. i just get up and start my day. It's going to come whether i like it or not.

I guess i don't do enough risky things that could possibly end my life. crap.
maybe i should take up base jumping. or bull riding.

Day 24

Day 24 →? Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)



This is to me.. when im old and wrinkly.



Crash into me - Dave Matthews Band
Vertigo - U2
The Best Damn Thing - Avril Lavigne
Cupid Shuffle - Cupid
Konstantine - Something Corporate
My Girl - The Temptations
Swim - Jack's Mannequin
Hands and Feet - Audio Adrenaline
Big House - Audio Adrenaline
Slice - five for fighting/American Pie - Don McLean



1. one of my all time favorite songs.. from one of my favorite bands. it never ever gets old
2. some special memories with this one.. seems like an odd choice.. but it takes me back.
3. reminder to myself to always be confident and bad ass
4. gotta keep dancing. cupid shuffle never fails me.
5. another of my fave songs. everything about something corporate is amazing. oh the memories with something corporate
6. i really like motown or 'oldies' music. plus.. this song makes me think of my dad :)
7. this is remind myself to keep moving.. to keep swimming. to never give up.
8. I have an idea in my head of who i want to be. this song asks me.. are you being that person? are you the hands and feet of God?
9. since this is to old me.. old me, remember the awesome house thats waiting for you. :)
10. These songs make me think of how things used to be.. yes way before my time, but i sort of wish i couldve lived in that time... when ''rock n roll was young and people stood in line".. and American Pie,once again... makes me think of my dad. We sing this one together.. :)

wtf.

ok so again.. my links don't work. i don't know whats up with this thing.. lets creep some more and see what we can find.
success.. im just going to post all 30 freaking days right here so that in the future i wont have to pull out my inner stalker again...

Day 01 →? Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 →? Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 →? Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 →? Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 →? Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 →? Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 →? Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 →? Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 →? Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 →? Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 →? Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 →? Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 →? A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 →? A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 →? Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 →? Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 →? A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 →? Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 →? What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 →? Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 →? (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 →? Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 →? Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 →? Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 →? The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 →? Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 →? What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 →? What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 →? Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 →? A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.


OK. now.. day 23...
Day 23 →? Something you wish you had done in your life
this is going to sound SO lame.. but, i wish that i had really gone over the top for spirit week back in high school. you could dress and act crazy and no one cared. missed out on my chance to act like a fool in public and get away with it.

and were back!

after doing some creeper work.. i found someone else whos posted all 30 days.

here we go ... again..



Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

slacked off.. well i didnt slack off... but i wish i hadnt taken it to easy with my school work back in high school. if id tried a little harder, i could maybe have been an early admit to the nursing program and be closer to graduation.

error 404?

so i WAS going to update and post some more 30 days of truth, but my links dont work. wtf mates?

catching up

getting back on track with the 30 days of truth ... im going to put a few days together in this post to make up for time lost whilst in Canada...

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
more like a book that was a total eye opener. ladies, take a look at a WONDERFUL little book, calles "Why Men Love Bitches". best book ever, let me tell you. After reading this.. lets call it something like a guidebook, playbook, owners manual .. what have you - book, i felt like the awesome confident woman that has total control, of her life that is.. and.. maybe her man. ;)

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
this is always a touchy subject. but here goes. i do not agree with gay marraiges. there i said it. no, i do not hate gay people just to clear that up.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
religion is different for every person. i, find it to be, a comfort. well, i mean, ive always known, practiced and believed it. i guess i dont know what life is like without it.
i think sometimes i take my religion for granted. i really need to LIVE it.

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
my views? dont be stupid. yes i consume alcohol, i am of the proper age, and id like to think im pretty responsible. all im sayin is make sure you have a ride or whatever. nothing wrong with going out having fun, just dont be dumb, or destructive. I'll be honest, ive never done drugs. ever. i cant judge other people, but i personally dont see what you gain from drugs. i dont see a pro.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
get my ass over there. regardless, its my friend. If i were in his/her situation, i wouldnt want to be alone. well, unless the bitch did something reeeeally shady...

make me pretty

so ive discovered that i have a bit of an obsession with nail polish.
im not necesarily wearing it all the time... but i love owning it.. browsing it.. ahh the colors.

currently have "lightening" yellow on my toes and "sex appeal" disco ball glitter on my fingers.

fabulous.

bring on the day... bitches.

Hiatus

Dear Blog,
tomorrow i will be leaving for Canada for an entire week. I must (sadly) inform you that i will have limited access to internet, so you shall be somewhat.. neglected.

don't take it personally.

bai.


see ya in a week. :)

love, ME

Day 16

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

isnt this similar to the post about people who have treated you like shit... or someone you wish you could let go?

if so... same answer for this one, i could use less dumbasses and betches.

:)

Day 15

Moving onward in the 30 days of truth ....

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

this is difficult. being without a cell phone sucks. not having my friends would suck. not having jsutin definately would suck... no car, no job...

i guess theres a lot of things i couldnt do without. makes me feel blessed for all the things im fortunate to have.

Day 14.

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down.
as far as im concerned. heroes are heroes. none of mine have let me down. they have lived up to every expectation of mine and i still keep them on a pedestal. ive been disappointed by people... but they werent heroes. my heroes?.. theyve always done it for me.

Day 13.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Dear Something Corporate,
We've known eachother for some time now. If i remember correctly, i found you accidentally. Anyway, i think i own ALL of your CD's and any extra songs that may be floating around out there. yes, even the bootleg copies (its ok, on one of them you said to download it cause you didnt really care). To me, your songs are classics, one for any day of the week and any mood im in. i am sad that you are no longer together, but so very happy that you created Jack's Mannequin (this letter is partially for you). so thank you for riding with me in my car, doing homework with me and singing along with me and my friends.

Love, Megan.


*honerable mention
-goo goo dolls
-audio adrenaline
-michael buble
-dancin' music :)

Day 12

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

My ears. i dont get nasty comments on them, but i have never EVER heard anyone say "ohh look at your ears! theyre perfect! so cute!". yes, i have said that to people.

case in point. Justins ears are symmetricly perfect. they have a perfect size in ratio to his head size. they curve where theyre supposed to, and have lobes that are just the right length. ( i know what youre thinking... Megan is a bonafide creeper with an ear fetish. in my defense, in our almost 5 years together, ive taken time to notice his ears.) moving on...

or my friend kelly.. she also has ears that are worthy or photoshoots for jewlery.

my ears on the other hand.. are not. Someone once said i have "elvin" ears.. because they come to a bit of a point. my ears dont really curl over, theyre kind of flat.. thanks to my childhood sleeping habits. they dont have a nice even sloping curve around the cartilage they meander and jut this way and that. maybe this is a bit of an exaggeration.. but theyre not perfect, and i dont get compliments on them.

Day 11

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

my eyelashes. i get told that they are long and pretty.
thank you mascara.

sometimes i get, 'youre funny', or 'youre so nice', those are my favorite compliments. especially from people at work. I just love it when my residents say, 'oh thank you! you are such a nice young girl'. on occasion they throw in the 'i love you', and my day is made and the job is worth it.

Day 10

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know

this is kind of mean.. id say some of the annoying people i cant stand. which are few and far between, but they do exist. i cant single out names, so to whomever you are,
this posts for you.

Day 9

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

this has sadly happened with some of my friends from high school. between college, jobs and moving.. i dont see much of them anymore. Some im not as close with.. others i just dont talk to much anymore. that makes me sad, you normally dont just drop people like that.

Im trying to get back to there.. but its a two way street.

Day 8

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

i cant really say that anyones "treated me like shit". I could say my volleyball coach back in high school didnt care for me and i kne it.. because she sat me on the bench and stuff...
I can be pretty hard on myself sometimes...
sometimes he gets mean.. but i know he doesnt mean it.. its partially my fault.

Day 7

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

you may find this self-centered, narcissistic, conceited... but id say me. I have my whole life ahead of me, with big plans for my future...

not to say its a one man show. many people have added to my life and i have been insanely blessed.. but really.. .Im living my life for me. i keep myself going day in and day out.

Maybe this should be rephrased as, who made you who you are?

that would be my family.. my amazingly awesome family.

Day 6

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

So im going to school to be a nurse. I know that types of things i will have to do, or b e expected to do in my line of work. But since i have never before done CPR, i sort of hope that i never have to. Though i would if the situation arose. i hope that i have a valve mask too...

im sure theres many more things i hope i never have to do, this is just the first thing that came to mind..

i may add more later.
but for now.. OFF TO CASEVILLE! :D

Day 5

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

There's been a lot of talk at work lately about... BABIES. my boss just went on maternity leave, and another co-worker is expecting. I wouldnt be surprised if someone else decided to have another :)
so lately weve been taking about babies a lot. the horror stories, the beautiful moments. though it scares the crap out of me when Yulonda tells me about here sisters 12 POUND monster of a baby that like wrecked her bladder... i love hearing them tell me, 'oh, youll never guess what Lilly said today".
I hope that in mylifetime, i get to be a mom. I am in NO rush to have children, but i cant wait until i have a little brood of my own. I just hope theyre well behaved ;)

Day 4

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

its something really studpid.. but ive held on to it for a while.
to be a vague as possible. its to a girl at work, for something that happened almost 2 years ago.
nothing major, just something that pissed me off.

letting go..

Day 3

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

i really dont know on this one. Im nto saying im perfect (im FAR from it) but something i have to forgive myself for?..
ok, way back.. in like.. sophomore-junior year of high school.. i went to an audio adrenaline concert. I bought a disposable camera to take, but i left it in the car (because i was like, who really thakes these things to concerts?). well at that concert i ended up getting pulled on stage and sharing the mike with the lead singer and totally playing to the crowd.

zero proof. camera was in the car. *face smack*

yes. that is the best i can come up with.

Day 2

Day 2: something you love about yourself.

this is hard. picking out something i like, let alone love... hmmm.
I love how i can get along with most anyone. theres very few people that i cant stand. I like that im a likeable person that is easy to get along with. Its kind of awesome when someone youve hung out with a total of one time says "youre fun, i like you, lets hang out again!"

I like that i can have a girls night, or hang with the guys. I can be with old people at work, my friends, or kids. Would that make me flexible as a friend?

Day 1

a paper blog, or diary is so much easier to keep than an online blog. its easier to pull out a book and scribble on the pages as opposed to go down stairs to the computer, hope that no one is on, log on to blogger, wait for pages to load, and then type something, fix typing errors, and then finally post.. only to realize you forgot to title it, or theres still typing errors.

I think im making it out to be more work than it actually is. these days me, and most people are on the computer alot.. i just dont believe myself to be an excellent blogger.

anywho, yesterday i worked, then came home, worked out and then justin took me out to the movies. i finally saw toy story! and i loved it! we then came home so i could kick his butt in wii bowling, and he could kick mine in golf and baseball. he basically threw a no hitter in baseball, what the eff.

so in reading my cousins blog, and i think im going to copy her and start doing the thirthy days of truth challenge..
you can read all the days here.

and here we go, with DAY 1.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
I could take the easy way out on this one and say my nose.. i dont find it to be of satisfactory shape, it widens when i smile.. but since im telling the truth here.. ill say...
i let things get to me too easy. whether its stress from work/school, or jealousy, or someone clicking their pen. i cant just go with it and let things be. I need to ..i dont know.. control myself better, and not let the little things get to me so much. no one wants to be around someone thats that uptight. I think ive been getting better though, at least im trying.

:/

don't you just hate it when someone else steals your thunder?
when others forget about what youre doing just cause someone has half the same idea as you?


grr.

once again.

ive said this before, but i love dancing. i love watching all sorts of dance, they require such commitment and skill. I myself, however, am NOT a dancer. I dont have the beautiful graceful movements of a natural dancer. I wish that i did.
that being said, i still like to dance. :)

I really enjoy good music, good dancing put-on-my-boogie-shoes music. Combine these two things and in my mind im a dancing freak.

sorry, im on a bith of a natural high at the moment. I just finished a good workout immediately followed by a long hot shower, so im a little euphoric. :)

I know its only 5 in the afternoon, but it felt right to don my pj's. i think im going to veg out the rest of the day.

GOD, i love having the house to myself!

suggestion box

i've been told i need a hobby. whatever.
so im takng suggestions of fun things and/or hobbies for me to do. Im not sure how well that will work though, because you need to enjoy your hobbies, hence, WHY you do them.

some suggestions thus far have been
stripping (no, sorry)
pole dancing (see first response)
quilting
needle point
power walking.

maybe my new hobby can be... hobby hunting.
Id love to go wakeboarding again, but i lack the boat, board, and lake to do it with. :(

i hate having to fill my time, i never know what to fill it with.

synonyms

so yesterday i saw a turtle crossing the road. it was a very big turtle.

so when telling the story later on i, naturally, used as many embellishing words as possible.

"MOM, i saw this turtle today, and it was big.. no huge.. mammoth."

this led me to think of other words meaning BIG.

lets list them:

ample, sizeable, galactic, capacious, colossal, enormous, elephantine, gargantuan, jumbo, vast, immense, whopping, walloping, macro/macroscopic, monolithic, monstrous, volumonous, brobdingnagian (yeah, apparently its a word, and it means big... who knew), and my personal favorite.. BEHEMOTH.

synonyms are so fun... i mean 'such merriment'.

thanks

so i've got an ear infection. just in time for the holiday weekend. oh thats okay.. ill be working anyway.

i am excited that my dad got mom a wii for her birthday, but it sucks having to wait 4 hours before the remotes are fully charged :/

gah, well what shall i do today. nothing. maybe think of and write a better blog.

bai.

overdue

Sorry i havent been updating this lately. Ive been on a lovely vacation to indiana: tubing, wakeboarding, painting pottery, visiting my sister and friends/family, and going to a concert.

i freaking love michael buble.

bucket list?

i think its time i made the ever important bucket list. what i want to do/accomplish before i go to the big house in the sky. Its kind of funny... im writing this list while sitting on my ass... soo freaking lazy..
anywho..

in no particular order.
Eat a vegemite sandwhich. international cuisine, why not give it a shot? well.. maybe half a sandwhich.

Be a mom. ive got lots of time to do this. but to be totally honest, i cant wait to raise some seriously awesome kids. once again, im in no rush. :)

Earn a masters degree. ive got this plan in my head that ill finish nursing school, go to work.. ad eventually go back and get my masters so i can teach. juuust an idea. well see how it goes...

Travel. I want to go international. Canada doesnt count. Id love to visit Ireland, Italy (specifically Rome) and maybe Greece.

Age beautifully. Maybe this doesnt count.. but its definately something i hope i do.. think like.. helen mirren.. Im not afraid to get wrinkles. i say that you must have smiled and laughed a lot in life.. you earned every laugh line.

Be a Good Cook. I know some amazing cooks. I want to cook a full meal that everyone loves. and maybe for my hubby to brag about how great i cook haha.

Golf. hell, ill try anything once. :)

Start and actually STAY on a work out regiment. this sounds so much easier that it is.

This is what ive come up with so far.. not much of a list. its always hard to think of things when youre ready to put them on paper. Im sure more will come to me. I shall share as they do. :)

happy birthday

to my poppa.

now, on to more pressing matters.

the ebb and flow of life... that sounds oh-so-philosophical. we have crappy days, ok days.. days that are just days.. good days, great days and freaking awesome days.

today has been a great day.. well the past two days have been great days. it really depends on how you measure your days.. yesterday i spent the entire day with my friend chelsea and went to cedar point on a bit of a last minute trip. :) awesome. i love roller coasters.. the adrenaline rush you get as you plummet todards the earth at 93 miles per hour at 90+ degree angle (millenium force.. personal favorite) and today.. saw my grandpa, learned how to use his pic line to give him his antibiotics. its good to have him home from the hospital. and now im at justins.

I love when we can just be together.. doing nothing... like were so comfortable we dont have to be constantly talking or anything. :)

I'm perfectly content right now.

like lightning

I've found that lately I have nothing to write about. Ispiration has not struck me.

So, let's see...I've decided to use proper grammar in my blogs now. So I shall be capitalizing the proper words and using all the apostrophes I can. Makes me look more like a proooofessional. I guess nothing super-exciting happens in my world. Just work, see justin, hang with friends. I'm looking forward to my mini-vacation to Indianapolis that's coming up. I get to see my sister and go to a Michael Buble concert! :D eeee!

Sad to say, I have yet to visit a beach.. or swim in a pool. wtf. I haven't even been riding my bike as of late. I REALLY should get back into that, or at least run. I really don't like running, but exercise.. I should do that. Good news though.. I subscribed to Shape magazine, so I hope i get inspiration in reading. I know, I know... magazines don't make you stay on a workout regiment.. only you do. :/

Well I'm off.. better get stuff done.. have to work from 3-11 tonight.
p.s. i hate working second shift :( stupid jury duty.

philosophy, pimps and ho's

how does one "drop it like it's hot?" is it a complicated or simple motion? is a sweatband or towel strongly suggested? and what exactly are we dropping? maybe...whoever "dropped it" first, shouldve worn oven mits? then we wouldnt be in this quandry to begin with. but lets think logically.....if were dropping..dont we have to "pick it up like its hot?" first? what if mines not hot? can i still pick it up? and WHAT are we dropping? is it big? small? smelly? slimy? is it alive?!?!? can i just hold it for a bit? maybe take it home and feed it? how did it get hot? and if it was hot...why in God's name did we even pick it up? i guess snoop dogg has feelings after all...he felt bad for it...so he picked it up...whatever it is....there is good in this world. wait, in order for us to pick it up..SOMEONE had to drop it first....WHAT HEARTLESS SOUL DROPPED IT??!? what did it do to be dropped? is it and evil thing? so we should all drop it as quicly as possible...as if it's.....hot?

.....oh...right........"drop it like it's hot".....check.

my life in books

just finished another book. adn began another one. Im a bookworm, i really like reading. :) (if you know of any good ones send them my way!) i actually have time to read for pleasure and leisure now that theres no school.

anywho, on to the point of this blog. The book i just finished, and the one i just began are by the same author, Megan Crane. I think i like her books, because the characters seem real. as in they are people you can.. understand, or just people you relate to in your own life. I don't know, but i like the characters she creates, but mostly, i like the conversations they have. they have witty, fast paces converstions. If these characters were real, they'd be as real and kosher as they come.
Makes me wish i had conversations like they do in my real life. Even the tought commentary is funny. I need to work on my thought commentary. If my thoughts were put on paper, I'm not sure people would laugh. actually, i wonder what people would think...

PB&J

I had a heartfelt discussion with one of my good, close friends last night. Over making dinner and enjoying some wine, we talked about a subject very near and dear to my heart. something that everyone has opinions on.

how to make a proper peanut butter and jelly sandwhich.

In my opinion, a good pb&j is made with white bread, crust on, creamy peanut butter and grape jelly. none of this strawberry jam crap. GRAPE. its just not a pb&j with strawberries. Don't get me wrong, i like strawberry jam, orange marmalade, and rasperry preserves (hate the seeds), but those belong on toast alone. no peanut butter required. and i like crunchy peanut butter, but not wth my grapes.

If you think about it, peanut butter goes with grape jelly.. because... trailmix; it has peanuts and raisins. which are really..grapes.

i rest my case.
hopefully i have something better to blgo about next time.

everything means something.

So, i'd just like to state, that i find headstones in cemeteries fascinating. not in a creepy way. I just like looking at names, dates, and the things they put on the headstones. You know, the speciall embellishments on them have meaning; different flowers and birds mean something, as well as the shape of the headstone and other added pictures. I think i really like the symbolism.

for example..
an anchor. appropriate for those who loved boating and/or the sea. but also, early Christians used the anchor as a disguised cross, and as a marker to guide the way to secret meeting places. It is also a Christian symbol of hope.

A Rose
Rose Love, beauty, hope, unfailing love, associated with the Virgin Mary, the "rose without thorns." A red rose symbolizes martyrdom and a white rose symbolizes purity and virginity. Whether the rose is a bud, flower or somewhere in between indicates how old the person was at the time of death: Just a bud - normally a child 12 or under Partial bloom - normally a teenager Full bloom - normally in early/mid twenties. The deceased died in the prime of life Rosebud, broken - life cut short, usually found with a young person's grave

Even where things are placed, like which way a hand is pointing means different things. whether a book or open or closed, or if an angel is carrying something. It's pretty cool. Look it up sometime. =]

the future.

I've talked to residents at work about growing up. most about 70-80.. some into thier 100's. It's amazing to realize how much the world has changed in thier lifetime.
One resident in particular: lived to 104. so, 1906; what was going on in 1906?
the first victrola is manufactured.
the first TB vaccination is developed.
a stamp cost 2 cents.
Kellog's corn flakes cereal hit the market. (instant coffe didn't debut until 1909)
Thomas Edison demonstrated the first talking motion picture.. in 1910.

so for a woman who was born BEFORE the movies (as we know them).. what has she seen?

the invention of...
crossword puzzles (1912)
the Ford model T (1908)
the Bra (1913)
pop up toasters (1913)
"band-aide" (1920)
traffic signals (1923)
spiral bound notebooks (1924)
the aerosol can (1927)
scotch tape (1930)
"Monopoly" (1934)
Slinky and Silly Putty (1943).. you get the idea.

She'd seen two world wars, korea, vietnam ect...
she experienced men walk on the moon, women win the vote, the depression, airplanes, television microwaves...
That's a lot in 100 years or more.

It made me think about what I'll tell the 'younguns' when I'M 100.
let's see - 1988..
the comic strip FoxTrot debuts.
Microsoft releases Windows 2.1.
Reagan was president.
A stamp cost 22 cents.
gas was $1.08.
Human Genome project begins.

I got to experience the rise of the DVD, the CD, the iPod, the Mac. Digital cameras and the gradual faze from film cameras. I "survived" Y2K.

In the past 20ish years..

There was bird flu, swine flu, Hurricaine Katrina and the tsunami in sri lanka. Pluto getting nixed from the solar system. We caught up to Saddam but are still looking for Osama. Michael Phelps won an astounding 8 gold medals at the 2008 olympics. The cell phone. The rise of hybrid vehicles, and "global warming'. The Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Twilight and Transformers movies and or crazes. The birth of the Euro and reality TV. Facebook, myspace and twitter. Steriods becomes a major issue in sports. Two Words: taylor swift. Tiger woulds really screwed up as did many other famous men.. The end of the 'Motor City' and the auto industry. Mr. Clinton 'did not have sexual relations with that woman'.
While she remembers where she was when JFK was shot, I remember where I was when 9/11 happened. She remembers Marylin Monroe's death, me Michael Jackson.
There's so much I could add. I wonder if she ever thought to herself "whats this world coming to? What will it be like?" I don't think she saw the events, fads and inventions of the new millenium coming.
I can only wonder what I'll see in the next 50 years or so? Hard to think; kids these days don't know what a VHS or VCR is. Then again,I never listened to music on an 8 track or vinyl record. I can't imagine the day when people will say, "remember DVD's? Yeah, those are classic.. vintage."

that's a lot of s's.ss.....ss

last night as i was trying to fall asleep, i wrote an awesome blog in my head.
now it's gone. i really wish i wouldve just hopped out of bed and got on line to get it all down.

well last night i finished a good book "Pirate Latitudes" by Michael Chrichton. Where has he been all my life? really, a good book. it got moving faily quick, kept moving, and didnt have too many things going on. That was the problem with a book i got last week.. i know you have to introfuce characters, plot, setting ect.. but this book was taking to loooong. I was waiting for the hook, you know, the eent that gets it moving, but there wasnt. And i didnt feel like reading on until i found it. "a breif history of montmaray".. read it if youve got lots of time to waste.

anywho, i went to the library today and decided to reread the second book in the wind on fire series.. "slaves of the mastery". These (next to the janet evanovich books) are seriously some of the best books. I also have some Megan Crane books being ordered for me.. "english as a second language" and "names my sisters call me". I read her book "frienemies" in one day. :)

We're still waiting on calls from businessessss... is it two or one s in that word? seems like a lot of s's in one word.. moving on.... and i got my schedule for the village.. and of COURSE.. i have jury duty next week. ugh. Thank you disctrict court. you have ruined my week. i was origonally looking forward to jury duty.. cause you get paid.. but turns out ive got more days that i thought on my schedule.. oy vey.

well im off to do stuff. today i think ill wash my car, tan (its gonna be LOVELY out today!) hagn with my skeeter, and such.

have a fabulous day.

lego maniac

so i spent most of the day yesterday with my cousins 4 year old.
i have revived my love for LEGOS. yes, so today im playing with legos, and watching Angels & Demons.

I know you all want to hang out with me.
:)

grrr..

*bangs head on wall*

track stars

so my good friend chelsea deicided to set up a little race.
the current 4x200m relay team.. and our confrence champs relay team.
ok that SOUNDS good.. but mind you.. we won that... 4 YEARS AGO. we (or at least I) am way past my prime.

Chelsea, Jessie, Me and Lauren a.k.a. skeeter, tater #1, tater #2 and gerbil will be making ourselves look like old ladies today.

I honestly think im going to bust a hip.

love/hate

rain.
i love it and hate it.
i hate it because: it gives me headaches, i can't go outside, it effs up my hair, it makes things muddy and wet, it makes my dog stink, makes me feel bummed and sleepy...
i love it becuase: the sound is soothing, i find it fun to drive around in the rain, going for a run in the rain can be fun, its an excuse to stay in bed and read a book, thunderstorms are awesome...

oh, and another thing. i don't get how people can love the smell "after the rain". its sick. like earthworms and dirt. wet earthworms and dirt. *gag*. last i checked, it doesnt smell like a bottle of laundry detergent.

So, the job hunt is on. finishing some applications today and then waiting. i heard that a golf course nearby is hiring so ill check into that. I dont know how ill do at the waitressing thing... well see.. since a few of the places i applied at are for waitressing jobs.
Today i WAS going to work out, scrub out the hot tub but of course the rain ruined that. better find something else to do :/

what's for lunch?

crutons.

:/
i feel bad because i've been in a foul mood today. i've actually been feeling blue as of late.
not depressed, just bummed.

ahh love.

love is in the air.
i attended a wedding yesterday, and my parent's 28th anneversary is next week. (as is my grandparents).

At the wedding they did a special dance for all the married couples (ive seen it before and i just love it). Once they start the song playing, the call off anneversaries and couples are asked to leave the floor when thier year is called. The newlyweds were dancing among "seasoned veterans". The las couple standing was the CUTEST little old man and his wife. 60 years of wedded bliss...

I want to be that cute old couple. I want to dance with the same man for 50+ years. Hold hands with the same man.. im such a SAP! :)
This has inspired me to make a list.. some good love songs. in no particular order..

You are the music in me - (yes, yes, i know.. HSM.. buuuuut i love it)
Alright - Darius Rucker
Must have done something right - relient k
This everyday love - rascal flatts
You make me feel so young - frank sinatra
at last - etta james
better together - jack johnson
your song - elton john (the moulin rouge version (: )
that sunday that summer - natalie cole
crash into me - dave matthews band

this list is subject to change.

rainy days

rainy days make me feel lazy.
i couldnt go out for my workout this morning, and i doubt ill have the ambition to do it inside.. :/ Though i did fill out a job application. (starbucks!) Im wondering if i should still call all the other businesses on my list anyway; wouldnt it be better to turn down offers?

oy. well this rainy day has things going on, dentist appointment at 2:15, though im an idiot and forgot we were going to visit my grandma today.. crap. I feel badly because i havent seen my grandmother since valentines day. She lives in a memory care facility now, which is further away than where she lived with my grandpa when he was alive. Is it selfish to wish that she could miss me? or wish that she knew i hadnt visited her in a while?
probably.

well C'est la vie.

January 25, 1918 — May 4, 2010

Yesterday, Ernie Harwell passed away. I know I may seem to young, but I grew up listening to tigers games and always hearing his voice. Mom and Dad would have the radio on in the pole barn and we could hear the game in the backyard. They'd turn it on in the car. He just sounded like baseball.
"that ball is looooonnngggg goooonnneee!"
:)

I like watching the games. Tigers baseball games make it feel like summer.
I'm not going to lie, when i heard he died, i felt really sad. There goes a great guy. I didn't know him, but i still liked him.

No need to thank us Mr. Harwell. than YOU.

"I love what I do. If I had my time over again, I'd probably do it for nothing." Ernie Harwell

And you Tiger fans are the greatest fans of all, no question about that.

I feel old.

so I've only been out of high school for 3 years, but it feels like forever. I found a box of old pictures under my bed and spent almost an hour going through it. pictures from freshman year, and even some from grade school. I found all the cards my 6th grade class made for me after my grandma died. it's funny to think that in 6th grade "it's okay" "smile" made it better.
Then i looked at my yearbooks. I read the insides of the covers, where people had written to me. some made me smile, others made me think about what that person was doing now. How many of those "love ya, keep in touch!" have i neglected? It sort of made me look forward to a high school reunion, though that won't be for another.. gosh 7 years.
I looked through the books at pictures, and realized how different everyone looked as a wittle freshie. It made me miss the football games, homecoming, proms, talking in class, spirit week...well as is life, C'est la vie.

So ive begun a workout regiment, sort of. okay, so i just get up at a decent time, go for a bike ride (because i hate running long distances) do some lunges, free weights stuff. I forgot what it felt like to sweat and be out of breath.. is that SAD!? but either-who, i like this routine, it wakes me up and i feel like i get more done. im just toning up for tha beeeaacchh! :)

well im off to go take care of my flowers i just got. I LOVE flowers, seriously, gardens are sweet. my perennials are all coming back, and i just got some gerbera daisys.. plus my moms tomato plants are (hopefully) germinating, and i got bean seeds.

yes, im a nerd.
im okay with that.
:)

:) aboooot time.

ah, sweet summer.

this has been glorious weather, GLORIOUS!
I just got back from being photographer for miss chelsea for her first prom. :) i was on hand to help her with her nails and get that lovely dress all laced up. she looks so beautiful, it's wierd to think that when i first met justin she was only .. gosh.. 12.
I was also on hand to test out justins new toy. I was pretty proud that i hit the target with the first shot. I like being available for fun stuff like this. :)

I had a blast celebrating the end of the semester with my fellow P1, NOW P2's! :)
If i can make it through P1, i can get through the rest of it.

I feel a little unstoppable now.
here i come world.

quickie.

i'm super frustrated.
grr.

it's finals week.
im stressed.
grr.


buuut going out to celebrate a birthday.
yay.

bai.

i love sweet tea

today calls for a self-care activity. so i painted my nails in the yard with a big ass glass of arizona sweet tea. hurray for sunshine!
i deemed a self-care activity necessary not because school is stressful.. but because i felt so on edge today. I think i may have been short with people, and i feel bad.
so to relieve the tension i painted my toenails with sparkles. i now have disco balls on my feet =)

I think i did okay in my lab today.. now i just have to do okay in the final next week. :S
the only things that stand between me and summer are 2 exams - one lab - and some piddly little assignments. So while i think in have the motivation i'm going to go work on those piddle little assignments, so i can watch ANTM tonight.

toodles! :)

Wait.

I can hear ticking clocks,
Running rampant in Me,
chiming in apogee
Waiting for the cynergy
Of her and me waiting on the light
And I never say goodnight Never say that i'm always right

Now in you girl I'm consent to drown
You're High and Im so Down
This Night'll end sooner
But much sooner now
Im awake in you and You're Asleep in me
All the things i'll never be
Make me Wonder could you see And I Said

Wait, till i hit the ground Harder
Wish i could Wait, To i could hear your heartbeat fast
Wish i could wait Till i missed her flavor
My days are numbered here and i dont want to be the last one home
don't want to be the last one home

Though Im weak inside
I'm thriving just the same
Still Calling out your name
Wondering who it is that i should blame
Stabbing Hard and Burried Conciousness and fear
Forgetting others i hold Dear
Wontcha maybe could you hear And I said To

Wait, till i hit the ground Harder
Wish i could Wait, To hear your heartbeat fast
Wish i could wait Till i missed her flavour
My days are numbered here and i dont want to be the last one

Home no no no the last one home
'n i said: There you are baby
waiting on the sun
just Staring at the sky said
"When will he be done"
and i said there you are baby
just waiting on the sun
staring at the sky said "when will he be done"
"when will he be done"

and i wish i could wait,
Till i see you shaking
wish i could wait to pull out of this one fast

wish i could wait till i taste your flavour
and maybe i can savour every last drop
and i said Wait, till i hit the ground Harder
Wish i could Wait, to hear to hear your heartbeat fast
Wish i could wait to see you shaking
My days are numbered here and i dont want to be the last one Home
the last one home
the last one home..

Art Therapy

Untitled

April 16, 2010.

i understand the nursing shortage....

I hate how i'm stressing out, but have ZERO motivation at the same time.
none.
notta.
zilch.

I could easily go to bed right now, but for some reason (whether it's because i'm used to it, or because its a norm for nursing students) i can't be in bed before... 12.
le sigh.


as of right now im putting my head down and barreling my way to the end of this semester. sort of like running a 4oo. rounding the final turn; i can see the end but its seems so freakishly far away. my legs hurt, my arms hurt..basically everything from my neck down is numb. just keep pumping my arms... eventually ill get to the end.. where i will proceed to pass out on the grass and suck in air.

looking forward to SUMMER.

my little zoob zoob

"come here my little zoob zoob"
that's what a patient at the VA said to me yesterday when he wanted me to see pictures of him from his time in korea. He then proceeded to tell me to not settle for the good looking man you see in pictures. "marry the man that can provide for you and take care of you, the man that loves you".
Very true sir. This guy was a sweetie, warning me that when i took his tempuratue that it would be over 100, becuase two student nurses were with him. what a guy. haha.

I had another patient that said that "God has given me all these extra years after my heart attack. I can't waste them." also very true. every morning when we wake up, just think, God has given me another day. Make the best of it. This guy was so positive. I want to be like that.

"ignore what bad has happened and don't let them ruin the good that will"

...There's no feeling, like the feeling you get, when a patient you are caring for, smiles at you, even though he is not doing well. Even though it sucks that the best you can do is smile back, their returning wink makes it a little better.

So thank you patients of P1 semester: the biter, the winker, the difficult, the joker, the talker.

thanks for teaching me.

happy little pink car of nursing.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

dancing

i really like dancing.
im not very good at it, i never (okay for like two years) did dance lessons, but i love it. west coast swing dancing. that is so fun. I'm learning more and somewhat improving, but all in all, its just fun to dance.

If i wasn't half way on my way to being a nurse, id want to be a dancer.. preferably her.
hahaha.

my other half.

you know, i really wish i was a twin.
I got to thinking about this today because to good friends of mine (who are twins) are celebrating thier 18th birthday today. (ahh to be young again ;)) But looking at them, i think it would be jsut awesome to have a twin.
They refer to eachother as not only sisters, but BEST friends. I have an older sister, and yes we have a strong bond, bffs, but really when you think of it... the bond between twins is different.
I think thats what I'm [jealous?] of.. the type of bond where from the moment God saw you and loved you, you had someone else there sharing it with you. You enter this world as a unit, and whether or not you are identical, act alike, or are intested in the same things when you grow up youre still part of that unit; two halves of a unit of two individuals.
if that makes any sense.
I hope i have twins. two on the first shot and im done ;)

P.S. check out this AMAZING video i came across on the web today. i think it's beautiful. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0WWOpH0oPk

( i guess theres no more linking to a direct video on you tube? what's up with that?)

anybody out there?

does anyone read this blog?

no i'm not fishing for readers or... whining.

just curious.

well it's holy week. I was able to go to church on palm sunday with my mom, however since my weekend to work is this upcoming weekend.. i can't go to easter sunday services. I can't even go to maunday thursday, though i do plan on going to good friday. My sister said she was coming home for the easter weekend... so i have to get a lot of crap done, like.. today.

I got my graded initial from my clinical instructor today (walked onto the floor of the VA in the sweats i threw on when i rolled out of bed, and my glasses and hair yanked back into a pony tail. No i had not showered. Yes i was wearing a bra. now everyone there knows what i look like at my worst haha) so now im going to attempt to find the motivation to work on my NIA which is due monday. SIM lab tomorrow, class/clinical thursday, clinical friday... work this weekend...

Looking at my calendar, the end is in sight.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel of P1.

something only a few understand.

I really feel like I'm getting into this 'student nurse' role.

I get the jokes they make about "you might be a nursing student if.." and I've actually done a few of those things.

just last week, while preparing for my foley catheter and wound care check offs, the dinner conversation between my parents and I include wound descriptions, catheters.. and bowel movements. totally normal.

This week in clinical while doing an assessment on my patient.. one of the nurses came up to me and said a patient needed an enema, would i like to administer it. my eyes must have lit up, and i ran to find my clinical instructor.

"lina, i have an opprotunity to do an enema.. am i able to do that?"

"yes, just explain what it is and side effects blah blah blah"

so I go to do my first enema. i felt like a sort-of-for-real nurse.

but then my enema got overshadowed by jeremy and his straight catheter.

I don't think anyone else would have understood why we were all jealous that his patient had an order for a catheter. we piled into the room to observe, and told him he was lucky.

oh gosh. the things i thought i'd never say!

well i have to fnish this IA, then do a quick journal and maybe get started on my NIA.

only 4ish weeks left until SUMMER.

:)

what's really going on...

Biden - "and then, we'll raise thier taxes!"

Clinton - "hee hee!"

i can't

I CAN'T FOCUS.

>:(

greetings from sunny indianapolis!
really.. it's been beautiful here the past two days! no jacket, mid 60's. i LOVE it. yesterday we drove around the circle city.. and ate out at the melting pot. the melting pot = awesome fondue place. Today i think we're going to take a trip downtown, and were going to a paint your own pottery place tonight. :)
'00
ANTM premiered last night, and silly me made dinner reservations at 8:00.. so i tried to tape it... i don't know how to work a VCR.. mesed it up, and didn't tape it.

:( crap.

oh well, on a better note - Michael Buble is performing here in Indy in june.
i am SO getting tickets.

hives... awesome.

so i've developed a rash.. well hives to be exact.
this sucks. >:/
I don't know what caused it... could be my tanning lotion, the cleaners used on the beds, or maybe, Im allergic to tanning?
it doesnt make sense.. ive tanned before.

crap.
well what a wonderful start to spring break.
nothing says welcome spring more than a case of hives.

on a lighter note, I'm heading to Indianapolis this week to see my siiistaa.

:)

fizzle.

I honestly think i've blown a fuse in my brain.

thank you, crystal m. lange college of nursing and health sciences.

8 months

He's been gone 8 months.


there's definately been a bit of a hole left behind after grandpa died. a void.


but with time things heal and you move on with your life because while one of the most important people in your life leaves, you're still here. and a life is a terrible thing to waste.





The other day i went to grandma and grandpas house to help them go through some things. Even though it's been 8 months, it hit me, no one lives here anymore. I won't lie, i cried a little.. i mean i haven't ben there in over 8 months, and at that time the house was full.


But then we started going though boxes in the basement, and we found the most amazing things.


Love letters grandpa wrote from Korea.


Grandmas wedding veil.


My dad's 9th birthday card.


All my aunts and uncles and my dad's graduation photos.


..even candid shots from my grandpas time in Korea.





Those were my favorite. I looked at them at least three times through. i even took some of them home..
I mean, how amzing is that picture? I don't blame grandma for falling in love with him when she met him on that train. I hope that in my lifetime i can be HALF as amazing as i thought he was.
I could go on for DAYS talking about him, as well as my grandma loper whos been gone for almost 9 years.
I don't think i'll ever stop missing them.
People don't last forever. Death is a part of life. But thats not all there is..


"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death."
Robert Fulghum

:)

Here we go!

so, first real day of clinicals... oh boy!
i think it went pretty well, for a second there, my head told me somethign to the effect of "i don't know if i want to do this" but then my heart interrupted it to say "no, we're LEARNING."
i can't let myself get ovewhelmed when im at clinical, because unlike the staff that works there, I am a student. I don't know everything yet. I'm taking it all in and learning.

Maybe i was a little worried becuase there wasn't a whole lot of structure to what we were doing, but im sure we'll get more comfortable as the semester moves along.

well, i won't be back to clinical until next week, but in the meantime i'm reminding myself that i'm learning, that i can do this, and to learn from what ive already done.

:)

first post...

... so I've created a blog... let's see what happens.

I had a pretty cool post typed out, but then i kind of screwed up and it got erased. :(
anywho, I basically called myself average. Not painfully average, but definately mediocre. I come from a cookie-cutter family, where mom and dad met in college, date, got engaged, and then got married and had three perfectly planned out kids, me being the second. I work in assisted living, and go to college full time to be a nurse.
I'm in love with my high school sweethear, and (don't tell him ;)) but I plan on marrying him someday. He's my best friend and my teamate. I'm from a smallish town/community and I plan on staying in the area a while, becuase I like it here. To quote Justin Moore:

"A lot of people called it prison when I was growin up
But these are my roots and this is what I love
Cause everybody knows me and I know them
And I believe that's the way we were supposed to live
Wouldn't trade one single day here in small town USA
...A simple life and I'll be okayHere in small town USA"

Sometimes I wish i was a phenom at something; dancing, singing, olympic athlete.. I'm not amazing at one specific thing, but I'm pretty good at being me.

so.. I guess this journal/blog thing is going to be ... random thoughts and happenings in the life of megan.

stay tuned.