fizzle.

I honestly think i've blown a fuse in my brain.

thank you, crystal m. lange college of nursing and health sciences.

8 months

He's been gone 8 months.


there's definately been a bit of a hole left behind after grandpa died. a void.


but with time things heal and you move on with your life because while one of the most important people in your life leaves, you're still here. and a life is a terrible thing to waste.





The other day i went to grandma and grandpas house to help them go through some things. Even though it's been 8 months, it hit me, no one lives here anymore. I won't lie, i cried a little.. i mean i haven't ben there in over 8 months, and at that time the house was full.


But then we started going though boxes in the basement, and we found the most amazing things.


Love letters grandpa wrote from Korea.


Grandmas wedding veil.


My dad's 9th birthday card.


All my aunts and uncles and my dad's graduation photos.


..even candid shots from my grandpas time in Korea.





Those were my favorite. I looked at them at least three times through. i even took some of them home..
I mean, how amzing is that picture? I don't blame grandma for falling in love with him when she met him on that train. I hope that in my lifetime i can be HALF as amazing as i thought he was.
I could go on for DAYS talking about him, as well as my grandma loper whos been gone for almost 9 years.
I don't think i'll ever stop missing them.
People don't last forever. Death is a part of life. But thats not all there is..


"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death."
Robert Fulghum

:)

Here we go!

so, first real day of clinicals... oh boy!
i think it went pretty well, for a second there, my head told me somethign to the effect of "i don't know if i want to do this" but then my heart interrupted it to say "no, we're LEARNING."
i can't let myself get ovewhelmed when im at clinical, because unlike the staff that works there, I am a student. I don't know everything yet. I'm taking it all in and learning.

Maybe i was a little worried becuase there wasn't a whole lot of structure to what we were doing, but im sure we'll get more comfortable as the semester moves along.

well, i won't be back to clinical until next week, but in the meantime i'm reminding myself that i'm learning, that i can do this, and to learn from what ive already done.

:)

first post...

... so I've created a blog... let's see what happens.

I had a pretty cool post typed out, but then i kind of screwed up and it got erased. :(
anywho, I basically called myself average. Not painfully average, but definately mediocre. I come from a cookie-cutter family, where mom and dad met in college, date, got engaged, and then got married and had three perfectly planned out kids, me being the second. I work in assisted living, and go to college full time to be a nurse.
I'm in love with my high school sweethear, and (don't tell him ;)) but I plan on marrying him someday. He's my best friend and my teamate. I'm from a smallish town/community and I plan on staying in the area a while, becuase I like it here. To quote Justin Moore:

"A lot of people called it prison when I was growin up
But these are my roots and this is what I love
Cause everybody knows me and I know them
And I believe that's the way we were supposed to live
Wouldn't trade one single day here in small town USA
...A simple life and I'll be okayHere in small town USA"

Sometimes I wish i was a phenom at something; dancing, singing, olympic athlete.. I'm not amazing at one specific thing, but I'm pretty good at being me.

so.. I guess this journal/blog thing is going to be ... random thoughts and happenings in the life of megan.

stay tuned.